Why do we so fervently fear the experience of a broken heart?
The way I see it, we must fear it because of the fear. In and of itself, what’s so horrifying about the process of grief?
Can the heart, and by heart I mean the symbol of spirit or true self, actually be broken? How can the unlimited and unbound be anything less than perfectly and eternally free? Free of pain, free of breakage of any kind, free of grief.
“Whatever suffers is not part of me,” A Course in Miracles reminds me.
So I, the human, let the waves of grief come and go, without analyzing, fighting or resisting. I keep dancing despite the limp. I filter the grief through love, rather than through fear, by asking love to show me the real meaning and purpose of grief.
And as I keep dancing with the limp, love shows me that nothing real can ever be broken, lost or separated from itself. It only appears that way, only in the dream, or nightmare, of individual existence that we, hypnotized by fear, value so much.
Fear takes me to hell, while love grounds me in truth.
So whether I laugh or cry, whether I gracefully glide or stumble with a limp, I ask and keep asking love to have this dance. And the next. And the next. And love always, always, always gently whispers…yes.
This is it! This is exactly what A Course in Miracles teaches, “To forgive is to overlook.” This is the prize I’m keeping my eyes on. The gist of the practice, the jewel of the lotus, the way back home.
It doesn’t escape me how contrary to our conditioning this way of thinking and being seems. But from experience, I know that the conditioned ways of thinking and being can only bring about suffering. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve decided long ago that living in a self-imposed state of a lack of peace will not get me to peace.
Ask yourself this: If only love is real, then what are all thoughts, perceptions and actions (yours or someone else’s) that are not based on love? If only love is real, it must follow that anything other than love is unreal, and is therefore an illusion, a dream, a hallucination.
Now it makes sense to overlook what we can’t (yet) love because why would anyone in their right mind invest in illusions, dreams and hallucinations?
The first step is to recognize and admit to ourself that we’re clearly not in our right minds most of the time because most of the time, we do invest, and heavily so, in illusions. We do this by attaching to and analyzing and judging and condemning and worshipping so many things, ideas and beliefs, none of which come from love and none of which have any substance because they don’t come from love.
For the sake of experiment, try overlooking what you don’t love and would by default react to with anger, judgment or self-righteousness. Overlooking what we don’t love means forgiving which means we’re in our right mind. Doing the opposite means staying stuck in the familiar and wrong mind.
I could have taken this photo by letting everything be in focus. But overlooking most things in the frame, and focusing on one tiny part, I find the photo more beautiful.
What if we could see only love and automatically discard the rest as illusion? The road to that point seems long and strenuous but not taking that road is certain hell, as we all know if we’re really honest with ourselves.
Gu means darkness and ru means light so guru is anything that brings us from darkness to light.
No experience or thing or relationship has the inherent power to bring us from darkness to light, but WE have the power to use every experience, thing or relationship as the bridge that takes us from darkness, or illusion, to light, or truth.
That power lies in our asking to see everything and everyone through the eyes of the Holy Spirit (true Self) rather than the blindness of the ego (made up self). Which includes brutal self honesty and willingness to admit that we don’t know what we see, or what the world is, or what anything is for. Once we ask for everything we see to be reinterpreted for us, and truly stay determined to that process, the light will start to dispel the darkness.
In my experience, there is no other way out of this self imposed suffering we mistake for life. But as soon as we truly ask for a better way, the light will step in to guide us. And everything and everyone becomes our guru.
We the imperfect the insecure the human step on our mats and through the fire of the practice while carried by grace we join together knowing there is no other way and we surrender all illusion even if just for a moment
We the inspired We the devoted We the light
We remember then forget but only to remember again over and over again until the practice becomes the way we live and breathe in each moment
Some people’s asshole tendencies come out when they drink tequila. The wind is and always has been my tequila. (Why, again, do I live in Reno?! LOL) It’s been an alcohol free hangover for me every morning for the last week.
It’s not just the relentless pressure in my head but the feelings of irritation and frustration and anxiety.
But it’s easy to blame the damn wind. And all the while, the wind doesn’t care. If it did care and could speak, maybe the wind would say: “Hey, if I stir up irritation and frustration and anxiety in you, don’t blame me, but look at the real source of those feelings in yourself.”
Hm. I’d say the wind has a point.
Somehow we expect this very unstable world to give us stability. And we expect this very imperfect body to be reliable and even be a source of comfort. And most of all, we expect the mind’s default setting, the ego, to lead us to peace, when the ego itself is an attack on peace.
I can very well walk around with a headache and jitteriness and still be at peace. The secret that’s not a secret at all is that I have a choice whether I identify with my body, and its master, the ego. If I do, I suffer. But I don’t have to suffer because I have the absolute freedom to unbind my mind, moment to moment, from this thought to the next, and one windy day at a time.
As A Course in Miracles teaches: “The power of decision is my own.” If we fully accepted this truth, loss of peace would be impossible. But if you’re like me, you may still need many lessons, which will look different on the surface but will all teach this same simple truth because truth IS simple: I’m either at peace or I’ve chosen not to be. What a relief it’s always up to me.
Ramana Maharshi said: “Everything in the world was my guru.” And I agree. The wind included.