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I was hurt in the past. I have been betrayed. I made mistakes. Am I good enough? Am I worthy? Will I ever feel safe? Am I doing the right thing?
The constant ping pong game of the I against what is.
Exhaustion. Heavy heart. Nausea in my stomach.
But then, a sight like this: a splendor of light greeting me at sunrise, and all I had to do was open my eyes.
And suddenly, it’s game over for the ping ponging of the I against what is, even if only for this moment.
Can the sunbeam separate from the sun? Could a ray of light even exist without its source?
What is this elusive I that thinks it’s separate from life? What am I, if not a ray of light that temporarily forgets, over and over again, its untethered nature and unity with the sun?
I am an effect. God, All That Is, the Source is the cause. And the cause is unbound love.
I, therefore, must be an effect of unbound love.
This is my prayer for today:
I of myself can do nothing.
May this elusive I surrender and surrender deeper yet to the immutable wellspring of power and beauty that’s within and without and everywhere, for it is all that is and ever was.
Knowing that I’m an effect of unbound love, may my thoughts and actions reflect that truth.
Amen.